Winning the War on Cancer???

Hello True Believers,

I'm back to enlighten you with my wit and words of wisdom. Actually I just have a few things on my mind and some observations I would like to share. But first an update, I am still doing very well, feeling better, am now down to 174# (down from 210 back in May), and very few vertigo and dizzy spells. I have been swimming almost daily, and although my arms are atrophied as heck from a year of Dexamethasone (steroids) and very little exercise or energy, so I am pretty sore, but working through it and getting better. The changes made to my diet and increased intake of water has also helped me maintain. I have also gone 5 1/2 months with no seizure activity. Score! My girls are both in school now, Carol in 6th grade at the middle school and Destiny in Pre-K. Susanna's birthday was yesterday and we took her out to Dave & Busters with a lot of our friends.

Back to my observations now. If you all recall, last March the clinical trial I had been involved in was unblinded after I had experienced a notable decrease in my condition and functionality, and an MRI revealed that my tumor had become malignant. It turned out I was on the placebo wing on the study, which in hindsight explains why it had shown activity so soon after I had already undergone Radiation and Chemo for six weeks back in Sept. 2010. It may be a little confusing for those not versed in this disease, or those who depend strictly on medical science as the answer to everything.

Let me change gears for a second before I really get rolling. I was at my oncology appt. today in the waiting room reading a magazine before they called me in for my infusion. As I flipped through the Readers Digest, I thumbed across and article titled "Winning The War On Cancer" (Oct. 2005, Pg. 167-178). My interest piqued, I began reading the article thinking "what wonders will this reveal, what does the future of cancer research hold, what breakthroughs are in the near or not so near future?" I was so not thrilled by what I read, I was not proud and hopeful for the future. I was actually a little bit angered, awe heck I was pissed off. It started off talking about a woman who had undergone a clinical trial of a drug and had responded well and had a miraculous recovery. I read on to see where this was going in terms of future advances, Well I am going to post a quote from the article and then elaborate on what is wrong with it.

...'What is within reach, according to Dr. von Eschenbach, "is an end to the suffering and deaths associated with cancer." He predicts that 10 years from now, when patients hear the words "you have cancer," they will no longer hear "you will therefore suffer and die." Instead, he says, cancer will come to be seen as a manageable chronic disease like diabetes or arthritis.'...

Which reminds me of another quote from my De-motivational Posters, "If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made in prolonging the problem." Don't get me wrong, I am not saying help or hope is a bad thing, but I swear they throw out so many wonder drugs and long term band aids, all with cool name and patents guaranteeing profits for the pharmaceutical companies and their wonder drugs. If they actually developed a cure for cancer, then there would be no gross profits that they can generate on selling a long term treatment.

This infuriates me so much because I have already done a round of radiation and chemo, and when it was discovered that I was on the placebo wing of the Avastin and Temadar trial, they took me off the protocol and the Radiology department wanted to start me on another round of radiation after I had done only 2 rounds of the actual Avastin with no change in my tumor. Having a bit of a background in radiology, I was hesitant, but I was also on Steroids, narcotics, and dealing with rapid development of tumor growth inside my skull, I was worn out and almost let them do it, had my wife not put her foot down and made me wait longer. I am so glad she did too. I asked every question under the sun about cancer treatment and development from my Physicians and oncologist and they always had the same response, more or less, more drugs and keep doing this and you might have another 3-6months. They were even talking about looking into hospice for me. My wife became driven to find another way to help me. We have 2 beautiful children and so much to live for. I was a little reluctant to read what she had uncovered at first, mainly because I just thought she was trying to turn me into a vegetarian, which I wasn't going to have. I figured if I was going to die, I was going to eat and enjoy myself while I could. But reading over some of her "Cancer Cure" books I began to notice that many shared several similarities and philosophies. A friend of our had also mentioned Shark Cartilage as a treatment, which reminded me of my college days when I wanted to be a marine biologist and some of the research I followed and volunteered for and a light went on, I started to join Susanna in her search and began taking notes with her. First I had to identify the mechanisms behind cancer and how it works. Please forgive me if my interpretations are very simplified, but a tumor needs 3 things to grow and develop. For those who don't know, a tumor is basically different cells that for whatever reason begin to develop abnormally and, depending on the type of tumor, grow rapidly. In order to develop a tumor must have a blood supply, so it can get bigger, establish more blood vessels to supply the growing tumor, and continue, a process known as angiogenesis. Tumors develop and form approx. 4 times more rapidly than normal, healthy cells do and they require a food supple, and tumors strive on glucose and sugars for nutrition. They also strive in environments with low Ph. levels/high acidity. So I began reading books from some pioneers in the field of cancer treatment and natural cures and supplements, mainly drawing from Dr. Budwig and Dr. Gershon, both well-known and a tremendous resource. I also learned a lot about the foods we eat and where they come from.

First order of business was to do away with most processed and conventionally made foods, especially meats (breaks my heart). The meats were important because the poultry, beef and pork industries use steroids and hormones on their livestock to make them grow fatter, juicier and more economical for slaughter and sales. And while they claim these chemicals do not affect the nutrition or properties of the livestock, these chemicals still remain in their tissues after they are deceased, and even cooking them does not remove the hormones and/or steroids. So what you ask? Well, these hormones/steroids get into the body and are processed, find their way to the tumor, and feed it, potentially triggering a rapid growth and development in the tumor. So it's locally grown, organic, and raw foods or as little cooked food as possible for me. I prefer juicing or smoothies using a mixture of vegetables and fruits, lots of kale and carrots.

Next was to cut off the food supply for my tumor, mainly no processed sugars or carbonated soda pops. Actually, artificial sugars are just as bad if not worse than sugars. While they do not contain fat, they are still broken down by the body and processed much like sugar. Energy drinks and coffee are also no go items, they are stimulants to start with, but they also have a very low Ph. (are acidic). Cutting these out will reduce, if not stunt a tumors ability to develop and grow. Starving a tumor can actually lead to a stop in the development of a tumor or even a reduction in side.

Which leads me to Ph. of your body. As I mentioned, tumors strive and develop in low Ph./acidic environments, but raise that to a neutral level, around 6.5-7Ph and tumors cannot develop. Actually, if we could raise the Ph. to an 8 or greater, a tumor will not be able to survive and begin to recede. So by changing to a high Ph. diet, I have been able to raise the Ph. levels of my body to an average of 6.2-7.0, not killing the cancer, but hopefully keeping it at bay. I am researching ways to alter my Ph. further in a safe manner. So far cutting out all acidic fruits and vegetables has helped and I have been drinking Kangen water. When I move in a few weeks and have the room I plan on getting one to save time and ensure I get fresh and properly treated water. It's great for cleaning my veggies and using as a laundry pre-wash.

Additionally I am using a lot of natural supplements to help me. Something I picked up from Budwigs book is a daily mixture using 2 Tbsp. cottage chase and 1 Tbsp. Flax seed oil 4 times daily. I do it twice daily, once in the morning and once in the evening. I'm not going to get into the protocol, but if anyone is interested in learning more about it, here is a link I found really useful in my beginnings searching for a treatment or cure. I usually take this with Essiac Tea, another cancer fighter (see link provided).

http://www.cancertutor.com/Cancer/Budwig.html

http://www.cancertutor.com/Cancer/Essiac.html

Finally, I take a complete regimen of supplements and vitamins daily consisting mainly of Shark Cartilage, Borage Oil, CoQ10, Multivitamins and Bee Pollen. I am currently on an organic vegetarian diet, 80% raw or uncooked food. Not Vegan, but eat a lot of vegan food mainly because they do not use animal meat products. I even drink almond milk, which taste a lot better than it sounds (depending on the brand you get, I prefer the generic "365" brand they sell at "Whole Foods"). And yes, this is extremely costly. My budget is tight as heck. But, as I mentioned in my last blog, it seems to be paying off. When I started taking Avastin in March, My tumor had shown further development in April and finally stabilized and seemed to be reacting to the Avastin and no longer growing. The oncologist even predicted that I may not have any problems with it for another year if all goes well. In May we changed my diet and I began to wean off of my steroids, pain meds, and one of my anticonvulsants. By the middle of July I had an MRI which not only showed my tumor was stable, but it had receded slightly. There had been no change in my medications, in fact, I had reduced greatly or outright stopped taking many of my medications, so I strongly believe that any changes that have come about with my tumor I attribute highly to the many Ph.Ds. and nutritionist who understand the mechanisms of the body, and the hard work and patience of my family who have aided me so much. I cannot think of another explanation. Plus the change in my level of alertness, memory, and energy has been incredible; I hardly have severe headaches and have only had to use my cane on a couple occasions for the past 2 months. I have a follow up MRI scheduled for Oct. 4th. I am hoping to see even more reduction.

That is what really chaps me about that article I read, and about the majority of care providers I have spoken with or questioned about cancer treatment. Many of them do not mention this stuff because they are taught that medicine is the answer to every problem, most won't consider, or just don't know enough about nutrition to try another route, or combine ideas. In all due fairness, I don't think it's their fault, but largely the pharmaceutical companies. Like record execs controlling and manipulating the music scene and influencing the trends, The Pharmaceutical company’s stand to make a lot more money over time treating a disease than they do implement or endorsing treatments that may just cure cancer. Call me a conspiracy theorist if you want, but its how I feel.

Anyways, I have gone on long enough about this, bedtime. If anyone has any ideas, suggestion, questions or whatever, please leave a reply or shoot me an e-mail. I'm just doing my best, keeping my faith in god, and taking it one day at a time. In the immortal words of Charlie Sheen, "WINNING!"

Hope everyone is doing well and god bless you.

Almost a year now...

Hello everyone, been awhile, but not as long as the time between my last 2 postings. Lots to mention though. Where to start?
Well. Needless to say it was a year since my tumor was detected on the 20th and the surgery performed on the 23rd. I am still alive and doing pretty well. Still living in San Antonio, Texas and waiting for the Army to decide if I get to stay in or not. Susanna and I have been discussing what our transition options are if I separate from the military and where we would like to settle down. I am really missing the Bay Area, and the Santa Cruz or Monterey area, while Susanna wants to see about San Diego.
While I am not anywhere near 100% and still have a long way to go in my recovery, I am doing so much better this past 7 weeks. I have more energy most days, fewer headaches, balance good most days, less episodes of vertigo, I am completely off of my steroids and am only taking 1 anticonvulsant, have not needed Vicodin in over a month and only use Motrin when absolutely needed, no seizures in over 5 months, I am down to 184# (down from 210# last December when loaded up on Decadron). The biggest news that has me excited is that I finally heard from my Oncologist regarding my MRI from a couple weeks ago, and not only has there been NO new growth or development, but it appears to have decreased in size slightly as well. YAY! I know this is not a sign that I am cured, but finally there is a change taking place that doesn't scare the crap out of me.
I am especially excited about this news because Susanna and I have been reading up on, researching and studying Tumor formations and the mechanisms that drive them and allow them to flourish. I am going to slip back into my science geek days because, as I mentioned, this is exciting to me. It started out with Susanna obsessing over all of these special diets that were supposed to help fight brain cancer and the professors and doctors who developed them. After awhile my interest was piqued and I picked up a couple of her books, "Budwigs", "Gershons" and a few cancer curing nutrition guides. So, a very layman summary of our findings is. In order to survive and grow, a tumor needs a few things, first, a blood supply to nourish the tumor and aid it in it’s' development and growth, second they need a place that has a low pH. Tumors strive in environments that are fairly acidic and have a very low pH. And food, SUGARS, especially processed sugars, caffeine and sodas are terrible when fighting cancer, so how did I begin to fight back against cancer. Well, in our reading we decided to cut off all of the bad things in my diet that may have been contributing to tumor development. Drawing back on my days of researching and studying back when I was in college, I drew on some natural medicines to help my body build its own strength and defenses, Shark Cartilage, Borage oil, CoQ10, Flax Seed, Essiac Tea, and switched to an organic and about 80% raw food diet, mostly veggies and fruits, which not only began to show an improvement in my energy and alertness, but has aided me in my weight loss after being on Decadron and vicodin for so long. I still indulge in cooked food sometimes, but not too often. Even working on finding some raw recipes. By staying off of soda pops, coffee, sugary snacks and junk food and instead getting my sugars through fruits and veggies. Staying positive and keeping my stress level down is key.
In additionally, as I mentioned, I have also slowly weaned myself off most of my medications over the past few months at a very safe rate, with no withdrawal symptoms or breakthrough seizures in over 5 months. At one point I was taking 3 anticonvulsants, 1 steroid, 2 allergy medications, 1 antidepressant, 1 anti-inflammatory, 1 anti-emetic, 1 vasodilator, and several antibiotics on and off. Now I have been 5 months seizure free and am off of all but 1 of my anticonvulsants, off all steroids, and have reduced my doses of everything else.
In other words, I am feeling incredibly happy and blessed. I won't say it's been an easy year; I've been through a physical and emotional rollercoaster on all levels. Susanna and I put each other through the ringer with my bad days where fear and anger occasionally got the better of us, but love always got us through and continues to hold us and our family strong. She is my Corazon. All of those who have cared, supported, and prayed for us, I thank you with all my heart.
Things are almost settled down; we still have one more move back to base because our lease at Operation Homefront is up. I have mixed feelings about this, I am happy because our apartment is so small and the place we are moving to is huge and right next to Carols and Destiny’s school, yet sad because we have so many friends there who we will miss living so close too. I have been feeling much more inspired lately and have several writing projects in the works now, plus I really want to be more active on my blog, so after the move I will be writing more regularly.
I have also been more active spiritually. We have been attending church again weekly, and I have been very grateful for the blessings and love God has shown for my family and me.
Once again thank you all and God bless you. Til next time

Catching up and sharing thoughts!

Back again, and hopefully well be dropping in to say hi more regularly than I have been. For all those who have been so caring and supportive of me and my family I wish to extend a very heartfelt thank you and God Bless You (if you happen to be Muslim, Buddhist, agnostic, wiccan, Atheist, or whatever, please accept my gratitude and well wishes toward whatever belief you follow). You get the idea. So let's get on with it.

First off I am very happy to announce that it is June 3, 2011 and I am still relatively healthy and hanging in there, 9 months after my initial diagnoses. Not saying it has been easy or without event and hardship, but my initial diagnosis gave me 3-6 months, and I have already passed that milestone. I also reached my 10 year anniversary in the army on May 15, Hooah! Since my last update I have been through quite a bit, so here is the health stuff that everyone always asks me about.

During the month of February and March I experienced a lot of changes in my health and condition. It started with my immune system dropping to unsafe levels every couple weeks resulting in my treatment being repeatedly delayed. During that time I began to experience some neurological issues, hands trembling involuntarily, legs trembling, vertigo and balance issues, and light sensitivity. I also began to experience headaches more frequently. I finally spoke with my Oncologist and requested a follow up MRI early to monitor the development of my Glioblastoma. So a second scan was done in March which revealed that not only had my Tumor become Malignant again, but that the growth and development was fairly rapid. I was also informed that with the results the team unblinded the clinical trial I was in and revealed that I was in the placebo group. This renewed my hope because I was becoming very concerned that My cancer was going to get the better of me sooner than expected. The light at the end of the tunnel, that since I had not been on the actual drug, Avastin, I had a pretty good chance of responding to the actual medication and possibly do better. Since I was going off study, mt care was transferred back to the Oncology Department at Wilford Hall, instead of me making the trip out to Houston every couple weeks by myself. I have now been on the actual Avastin off study for 5 treatments and have been doing much better. My balance is about 85% better most days, sometimes more, sometimes less. Trembling in hands is usually pretty mild and usually only affects me when writing or typing alot. I had an MRI done last Friday and will be meeting with my oncologist next week to discuss those results, nervous but very optimistic.

Lot of other exciting things have happened as well. In March we took a trip back to California and stayed in Monterey to see some of my old stomping grounds and some family. It rained almost the entire time we were there but we made the most of it. We got to see the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Pebble Beach, Moss Landing, Capitola and Santa Cruz. Even took Susanna out for a date at Shadowbrook, the place we went to for our 1 year anniversary. Took Destiny out for mazes and laser tag for her 4th birthday. And ate lots of clam chowder from "The Fishhopper" (my favorite clam chowder ever). In april my best friend since high school Sean came out to visit and we met up at Sea World San Antonio. Got to see his wife and 2 boys. Was a little hot out and I got drained so was a short visit. But the big news is that the "Dream Foundation" fulfilled my lifelong dream of going to Hawaii in May and we spent 7 days there on Maui. That will be the focus of my next blog. I had to have 2 surgeries since my return, one to have a tooth removed and abscess drained and another to remove a mass on the sclera of my right eye, not sure if cancerous or not but awaiting results of biopsy. Had 5th infusion and MRI, so follow up next week will be exciting. Antibiotics upset my stomach something fierce and gave me vertigo like you would not believe, but have been off of them for a few days and balance and vision seems to be stabilizing. So hoping for the best.

Carol also just had a birthday and is graduating from 5th grade, so very excited about that. So that should bring everyone up to speed for now.

I just want to thank all of those who have been there and showed so much care and support for me and my family, We wholeheartedly appreciate it and there have been some rough times that I didn't thing I could get through, but still here. I hope you have all been well and look forward to catching up when I can. Later.

A Long time coming...

This is a post I wrote in early FEB. but for some reason it never got posted. I had gone through several things in the time since then and blogging took a back seat. Now that I am feeling a bit better, here is a retroactive update, And more current updates and ideas to come as well.

Hello everyone, I know it's been awhile since I have written on here and you are probably in great suspense to know how things have been going.
Well, this posting is going to be a mixed bag with a very uneven flow to it. First off I will start by saying that me and the family are doing very well. We were assigned a house on base and both children were enrolled in a childcare/School age program service. I am still on seizure watch and unable to drive so Susanna has become my own personal driver, which is a very thankless job for her but neccesary and much appreciated. I have been assigned to a Company here and have a great Squad Leader and Triad (team consisting of my Case Manager, Primary Care Manager, and Mental Health/Psychology). I have been weened off nearly all of my pain medications except for when absolutely needed, and even then am relying more on Ibuprofen and less on vicodin. Am still taking my anti-seizure meds and steroids, but my dose has been decreased drastically. That pretty much ends the status quo.
About 2 weeks ago I went in for my infusion of the Drug I am taking on trial, but when they drew me blood prior to the infusion as they normally do, my Platelet count came up dangerously low, something like 15,000 when the low end of the normal range is aout 75,000. So I was stopped from the trial and given an infusion of platelets. After carefully being monitored every other day for the next week, my count finally exceeded 100,000. But then it came to light that my neutraphil count was extremely low and my monocyte count was elevated, a sign that my body was preparing for an infection. So I had to drop off of the stationary volleyball team I was on and drop out of the try outs for the Warrior Games team I was planning on trying out for. So there is some dissappointment to pour in the wound.
And then the scary finally happened. Last week while I was filling out some paperwork I suffered a small, low grade seizure that scared the crap out of me. It was very monor and only lasted a few seconds, but up until now I had never experienced anything like it and all of my antiseizure medications were just a precaution until 6 months passed from my surgery and I could drive again. Now I am shaken and very, truely afraid of what this could mean. I spoke with my research nurse today and they agree that I should have an MRI on my next visit just to see how things are looking within my head. So as strange as it may sound, I am actually looking forward to having my head scanned.
And we have been enjoying, experiencing and taking in alot of what San Antonio has to offer as well. Over the holidays the kiddos got to see Santa Claus probably 6 times, we also witnessed the lighting of the Riverwalk, The Nutcracker Suite at the Majestic Theater, saw The San Antonio Zoo, Kaliedascope at the Alamodome, saw Cirque de la Symphony, Saw Monster Trucks at the Alamodome. Me and Susanna got to see Slade Ham at the Laugh Out Loud club, Lewis Black at the Majestic, and Bill Engvall at the AT&T Center, Plus I took my mother to see Ozzy Osborne with Slash at the AT&T Center and my Wife and I saw Train play there as also. So we have been a little active as well.
Lots more going on but need to take a break for now. Be back soon.

A time of reflection (post from the Urzua Appreciation Day a few weeks ago)

Hello everyone out there,
A few weeks ago we held an appreciation gathering for all of those who have shown so much care and support for my family and I during this very emotional time. Unfortunately I was locked out of my account and only now recovered the original posting, so the content of this was originally written a few weeks ago and is now being expanded upon.
At the gathering we had a great time seeing our friends and meeting all of those faces who had been writing their support but still remained faceless. We cooked our world famous Urzua's chili and home-made BBQ sauce from scratch, had lil' smokies and a ton of hot dogs for everyone. We had a great turn out with people beginning to show up around 2 p.m. and filtering in and out until late into the evening. Even though I was a little drained in the afternoon from my Chemo, I was very uplifted by the company and was able to keep up all night, it was fantastic. I miss having gathering like that and sharing with so many new and existing friends alike. I feel incredibly blessed that with all that has been going on and all I have been through, I can still enjoy a carefree day of just sharing company, experiences and good food with really great people and not feel like I have an illness. I mean, there is no denying I have cancer, but no one really looks at me or treats me like an invalid, which is great. I love that people just accept that no matter what, I'm just Joey. Even those who couldn't make it or live too far away dropped in on our Facebook page and left little messages showing that they were here in spirit.
So many people showed up it was amazing, lets see if I can still remember who all came, From K-9 there was Chris, Kevin, Cody, Dan, Mark and a couple more, also Sara, Shayna and a few more of the wives. CPT Hegge showed up, as did COL Edwards and his wife Vanessa with their son Dylan. Ashley Myers, Tamara Richards, Katy Bowden, Thomas Odeen, Jessica Lynn Estebane-Venturino, Mike Kimball, lots of kiddos, Tony and Summer Lozano, Vanessa Asis-Perrigo, Issac and Christina Bliek, Chris and Amanda and Kayla Sansing, Chaplain Tisher, his wife Shannon and their children, my good friend Wayne Grimsrud, plus a whole bunch of children, our yard was packed. If I forgot anyone else, I apologize, please drop me a line and I'll add you in. It was great. Once we get to Texas and get situated, I want to have more gatherings like that. Already have a few visits lined up for some of my friends and family members to come out and see us.
The day really made me appreciate how much people care and how blessed my family and I really are. Since the diagnosis, Susanna has stopped working in order to care for me and make sure I get to my appts. and what not, and while I have done very well with my treatments, I still have days where i am in a lot of pain or am very emotional, especially now that I am being slowly weened off of my steroids in preparation for my MRI in a couple weeks. In addition we are trying to rent out the house before we leave for Texas and have a lot to do in anticipation of that. Unfortunately I am an emotional mess at times and can be a little unbearable. I am glad that Susanna and the kids are so patient with me as I adjust to this. One of the other big adjustments is getting used to supporting the family on my income alone. With everything packed up and gone, we are very limited on clothes and food and going through our resources like crazy, luckily we have some very good friends here who have offered to help out with use of their washer/dryer to clean our stuff. While I strive to remain upbeat and positive throughout my diagnosis and treatment, I must admit I have experienced the occasional bouts of anger and sadness. However, as I have been slowly reduced on my doses of steroids I have noticed the instances are fewer and a little more far between. I am still bloated like you wouldn't believe but am beginning to feel my strength return and am looking forward to be starting to exercise soon. Overall, I am feeling more good than bad and, as always, am grateful for my family, friends and the prayers and support of everyone out there. Thank you all.

Livin', Laughin'. Lovin', gotta lot to be thankful for.

I finally have a chance to write my blog. Thanks to my 3 year old daughters hacking skills, I was locked out of my account for the past 2 weeks. I finally retrieved my password and am finally able to re-write this. I finished my Radiation and Chemo Therapy on the 22nd of OCT. and have so far been doing really well. I also got a copy of my Orders to Ft. Sam Houston finally and my report date is going to bein Dec, and my household goods were packed and shipped out for us on OCT 29th so a lot has happened in a very short period of time. For those of you wondering what this means, I am still going to remain a SGT and Animal Care Specialist in the U.S. Army. However, I will no longer be a part of the Army Veterinary Command/Public Health Command and am being re-assigned to the Warrior Transition Unit (the Wounded Warrior Program) in San Antonio, TX. That is all the information I can divulge, but I am very fortunate and blessed to have the opportunity to be a part of this unit and to receive care and treatment here.
So far my recovery from the diagnosis of my class 4 Glioblastoma has been amazing and I have so many people to be thankful for. First off I truly believe God has played the biggest role of all in saving my life and bringing about all of the people who have showed so much love and support for me and my family. There are those who I have encountered who have asked me how I can remain so positive in the face of all I have endured and have such faith and devotion, especially when I reveal that I have not always had the strongest of faith or been the most godly or religious of individuals throughout my life. Growing up I did not have the strongest or most nourishing church environment and was often in a dark place spiritually as I tried to make sense of my world and the series of unfortunate events my family experienced. By the time I got to Middle School I had been introduced to a very spiritual family in my neighborhood, the Manuekians, who had helped open my eyes and heart to the possibility of something more spiritual in my life. While I did not immediately find my way socially or spiritually, I did receive a sense of direction that has been working in my life and helping to guide me throughout the years.
One of the things I still am saddened by is when I receive messages or inquiries from people where they display anger, blame, or disbelief in God, especially at my situation. I don't understand how anyone could blame God, or whatever higher power that may influence their life. I mean, the way I interpret things, we were all given free will to live our lives, and while God does have a plan for everyone, what happens in the world is a result of what we as humans do with our time here, our choices and decisions shape our path, and some events occur that are in fact beyond our control. This does not mean that God is making bad things happen to good people and rewarding bad people in their place. It simply means that in the course of human events when bad things do happen to good people, God is there to care for them and provide strength for they and their families when they need it most. I see God in the same light I saw my parents growing up, but in the ultimate capacity. They watched out for me and tried to provide guidance as best they could to protect me, but were unable to protect me from every single contingency. When hurt they nurtured me and bandaged me up until I was old enough to take care of myself, and even then they never stopped worrying and caring for me. While my beliefs may fall somewhere between the Bible and Science, my faith has no doubt that there is a God and that he is watching out for us for better or for worse. If my cancer remains in remission and never returns or if it comes back within a year, he will be there to help me and my family through it and gives us the strength and wisdom accept his plan for us. While my goal with this observation is not to change the minds or hearts of others, it is just to express my opinions and possibly give others an alternate point of view.
There are too many people who have been involved in my recovery and who have touched my life in some way, shape or form for me to thank individually or to do everyone the justice they deserve, but I have been so blessed and whole heartedly wish to thank each and everyone who has wished us well and and been so caring and supportive during this trying time for both myself and my family.
Second to God, I would like to thank my beautiful Wife Susanna for caring for me, standing by me and supporting me during my diagnosis, surgery and initial treatment as well as taking care of our children during times when I was unable to help out due to my condition. The medical staff at the Rapid Regional Hospital who took care of me from diagnosis until my discharge was also wonderful and deserve the highest recognition for their compassion and dedication.
And those who have been responsible for my care from Dr. Salgeskog, the surgeon who removed and identified my tumor, to Dr. Schwartz, the Oncologist who has been providing weekly care and updates for me, and the rest of the Cancer Care Institute staff who cared and supported my treatment.
While was in the hospital still recovering I was also visited by several my co-workers and support elements from Ellsworth AFB, including my Commander, CPT Hegge, the K-9 Handlers from the 28th SFS, The 1st Shirt and Commander from 28th FSS, MSG Platt and LTC Rucker. I also received some spiritual encouragement from LTC Bell and Ms. Hedin. I was unable to use my phone or type very much during this time, but Susanna did check my calls and pass on several messages for me from my family, friends and lots of people from my unit.
We kept my illness quiet at first until we knew what was going on with me, and once I was discharged from the hospital Susanna sent out a mass e-mail letting everyone know what was going on with me and how I was doing after the fact. Once I had found out what my prognosis was, my first conscious request was that "I want to take my girls to Disneyland." So with the help of Susanna, SSG Buyck, my Mother and my sister Roshell, my cousin Stephanie and countless others, a mass message was circulated letting everyone know what my wish was and the response we got was nothing short of inspirational. People I had barely known responded, people I had not heard from in years responded, and people I did not even know responded in addition to those who were already close to me, donating to my families trip to Disneyland before I would begin my Chemo and Radiation treatment. We received letters of encouragement and support from all over. While I was not able to respond to many of them, I did sit with my children and read each and every one with them.
Another group of people who have been of extreme inspiration and assistance were the Key Spouse network here at Ellsworth headed up by Ms. Shayna Sidle who organized and scheduled for people to aid us with child-care, meals and other assistance, despite her times of illness and heavy school and family obligations, she is truly a blessing. For all of those who assisted us in our time of need, thank you.
I have also received a lot of encouragement from Chaplain Parrish, Chaplain Tisher, Chaplain Bell and Rev. Oliver as well as support from my friends and fellow worshippers at the Protestant and IGS services on base.
Through all of my experiences I have been feeling a bit of a calling and may actually be looking into working more with the religious services or possibly re-classing as a Chaplains Assistant once I get to Ft. Sam and get situated.
For now I am just focused on how fortunate and blessed that I have been able to touch the lives of so many people and likewise to have been affected by so many people in turn. I apologize that this blog is soo long and has an unusual flow to it, but I have been attempting to write it for some time and have been experiencing several setbacks in the process, namely Destiny, lol. I tried to be as fair as possible and acknowledge as many people as possible. If I missed anyone left anyone feeling overlooked, please forgive me. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I look forward to hearing your feedback on this.

What it's like.

Hello again, sorry it's been awhile but have had a lot going on and been trying stay on top of everything. In my last blog I explained what happened and how The Dr.s came to discover my tumor. The second thing I get asked the most is how is my treatment going and what is it like? So I have decided to use this opportunity to address that question. First off, I am on a ton of medications that I seem to be taking around the clock, I have alarms to remind me, and Susanna has alarms to remind me, And we both have alarms to remind us to actually check the alarms. I wake up daily at 0600 and take about 10 pills to help me throughout the day. I take antisiezure medication, Steroids to reduce swelling in my skull, which helps with my headaches immensely, anti-vomiting medication, Anti-depressants, Allergy meds, and several more. Then I usually try to go back to sleep, which is often short lived because Destiny is usually up by 0630 and her first order of business everymnorning is to climb on top of me, tell me she loves me, inform me her diaper needs to be changed, and ask me whats for breakfast because she wants some nummy nummy.  Of course, Carol is also up around 6 if she hasn't hit snooze on her alarm too many times so I have to poke my head in and check on her, She usually has the dog fed, her backpack loaded and is ready to catch the school bus by 7. So after a hug, kiss and "Have a good day princess" she is out the door and I am working on Destiny's breakfast. Fortunately she takes after me in that department and is usually good to go with some oatmeal, cereal, yogurt
 or chorizo & eggs. Meanwhile, Susanna goes over my schedule for the day to make sure we know when all my appointments are and what time we have to leave to get to them, She takes good care of me.
So once breakfast is done I turn on some "Go Diego Go" and start watching T.V. with Destiny in which we spend a good deal of time arguing over which path is the right path to take, man to they encounter a lot of snakes and crocodiles on that show for a Hispanic kid living in South America. but anyways, then Susanna catches me messing around with the kiddo and embarrasses me into getting my butt in gear. I usually have appts. in the mornings up until 12:30.On Mondays I go to the Chemo unit at around 0900 to have my infusion for the clinical trial of Avastin I am participating is as a volunteer. 2 days a week I go to Occupational therapy in the morning to help me relearn and deal with some of the lingering effects of the trauma and surgery I went through. After the surgery I had a great deal of trouble with remember how to do alot of my job task and basic education task like writing or typing and elementary mathmatics. Plus I had been experiencing stress and anxiety issues as well. Many of my facilities have come back slowly but surely and I am doing much better. I have also begin meeting with a trauma counselor weekly to help me learn to adjust to some of the more extreme moods I have been experiencing in the past couple week. I have spoken to my Oncologist as well as my counselor and have learned that some of these feelings and moods I have been going trhough can be attributed to the steroids I am taking to reduce swelling in my brain.
I take my Chemo pill daily at 10:45 and have Radiation treatment at 11:45 Monday-Friday. A lot of people have asked me what the treatment is like and seem to have a poor understanding of Modern radiation therapy, so I am going to break down what one of my sessions are like.
First of, I would like to say that I am very blessed and fortunate to have such a great team caring for me at the Rapid Regional Cancer Clinic. From my Oncologist, to the treatment nurse, Radiation and Chemo nurses, and the variety of modern equipment that is available. The Clinic actually has a few different types of Linear Accelerators. The more common one is a stationary unit in which the patient is positioned  in the center of the room, and then the machine is rotated to different positions around the patient in order to administer the radiation dose to the desired area.
They also have Linear Accelerators mounted on a sled. Basically it is a huge machine with a doughnut shaped appearance (similar to an MRI, but shorter and not as dense) and a table in front of it. inside the apparatus the linear accelerator is mounted on an enclosed sled with the functioning beam facing the center of the ring. I lay down on the table and am positioned on a cradle to keep my head as straight and still as possible. Then a plastic mesh mask which has been molded from my face (yes nose and all) is placed over my face and secured to the table to help keep me still. Definitely not a good situation for someone who is claustrophobic. But I seem to do well. Then they start the machine step out of the room, I am slid into the opening until my head is about 1/3 of the way inside. At this point the Linear Accelerater is rotating around my head in circles and preforming a CT scan, which takes about 4 minutes as I am slowly moved deeper into the machine. This allows the machine to do a more complete scan moving me into it while it performs it's scans. Once it's done the table backs out of the LA and the nurse comes in to set it up for the Radiation, which takes a few seconds. Then I am moved back into the machine only this time it is a bit more noisy as it is emitting radiation. With this type of machine, the beam is more condensed and focused. It makes 15 rotations around me and I can tell when the radiation hits the part of my brain because I have an interesting reaction to it. As the beam zaps the left front portion of my brain, i see a blue flashing light, almost like electricity flashing under my eyelids, and I smell a chlorine like smell. then as gets around to the back of my head it zaps me from the right rear toward the left front. When this happens I see a thick white flash at the edge of vision from my left eye. The entire process is about 8 minutes. They give me a small ring to hold onto so I have something to do with my hands while I'm strapped down, and I usually shake it around in the air like a tambourine, or hold it like a steering wheel and make Wii Mario Cart noises while I pretend to be driving. Hey keep me distracted and entertains the people around me.Then I am moved out of the machine and the nurse unhooks me from the mask and I hop off the table.
On Tuesdays I meet with my oncologist after the Radiation therapy and basically discuss how I have been doing, what has been going with me and how my headaches have been, and that's basically it. I have some random appt in the afternoons on some days, And as I get closer to my move to Texas I am sure I going to get much more busy, but for now I am doing well, have responded to the treatment well and have suffered very minimal adverse affects all things consider. Honestly, it's amazing to me. A little over a month ago I was diagnosed with a lethal brain cancer, now here I am writing, reading, laughing and sharing. If I ever needed proof of miracles, I got it. Hope this wasn't too long or boring for every, and for those who stuck it out to the end, thanks for reading. Until next time, Hasta la bye-bye.